tell someone to look and they’ll ignore you. but tell someone not to look and they’ll turn their head faster than it takes a straight white boy to ask for nudes during 21 questions

posted 4 hours ago with 48,287 notes
reblogged through noonecanmagentalikeyou originally by guy

How I Think Isaac Reacted to the Cigarette Metaphor

(Isaac and Gus are just casually playing video games) (Gus whips out a cigarette) Isaac: Dude, you smoke in the house my mom will be pissed. She's afraid I might get cancer or something. (smirks at his own joke) Gus: I'm not lighting it. Isaac: What? Gus: It's a metaphor. Isaac: Oh God, not this again. (Pauses game) Can't you just write poetry like a normal pretentious teen. Gus: I can't write. Isaac: That's probably for the best, actually. Gus: Can you unpause the game? Isaac: Will you tell me what the oh so beautiful metaphor is. Gus: You put the thing that can kill you between your lips, but you never light it. You never give it the power to kill you. Isaac: Do you just keep a notepad next to you while you watch Soap Operas, or are you too busy jacking off to them. Gus: This is a good metaphor! Isaac: Like that one about crushing all flowers because they look as beautiful dead as alive? Gus: I- Isaac: Or when you walked around wearing a sock on your head to prove that the reverse works as well? Gus: Well- Isaac: Or that one time- Gus: Would you just let me do my freaking metaphors? (Isaac smirks and turns back to the game) Isaac: Well, I guess if you want to put a fag between your lips, that's your business. No judgment. (Gus throws a pillow at Isaac, and they both laugh and resume the game)

posted 4 hours ago with 1,228 notes
reblogged through deathtonormalcy212 originally by thevolutionofnerdy


I don’t trust people who smile before 11 am

posted 4 hours ago with 1,518 notes
reblogged through dysfunctional-teenagers originally by vercxce


all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

2. we can’t all be usain bolt

3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

4. i had pe first period do you blame me

5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

8. #YOLO

9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

10. there was a freak yachting accident

11. i am a fucking retard

12. this is just for my wall

13. do you even read these

14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

18. traffic jammy jammy jam

19. how can i go to school when alex turner

20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

21. i was sticking it to the man

22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

      it’s not my fault

      my auntie was killed

      and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

 late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

37. i was fashionably late

38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

40. do

41. you

42. even

43. read

44. these

45. i was fighting al qaeda

46. traffic


posted 4 hours ago with 932,685 notes
reblogged through the-art-consumes-me originally by paintgod





fun fact: “nolo” is latin for “do not want” so if someone says yolo you can say nolo and they’ll think its just a stupid comeback but in all actuality you’re speaking latin which is classy as shit so haha the jokes on them

and it means “(you’re) embarrassing” in finnish so it’s double joke on them


The more you nolo

posted 5 hours ago with 366,672 notes
reblogged through rimoselyyours originally by snickerpoodles


#colonel ships it

posted 5 hours ago with 3,514 notes
reblogged through deathtonormalcy212 originally by wentbacktothebeginning



So I went looking at Gordon Ramsay videos and found this and laughed for about 10 minutes.

HAHAHAHAAHAH this is fucking amazing 

posted 5 hours ago with 338,587 notes
reblogged through the-art-consumes-me originally by kamoe


i’ve grown so unattached from people like i could literally move across the country tomorrow and not give a shit about leaving anyone except for like 3 people

posted 5 hours ago with 607,757 notes
reblogged through allthegamesweplay originally by fluiro




nothing is more satisfying than someone walking right past ur hiding spot in hide and seek

how old are you

"thatkilljoy" living up to the url i see

posted 5 hours ago with 121,632 notes
reblogged through hello--comrade originally by chromeofficial



why is this dude wasting his money on cigs when hes not gonna smoke em your metaphor isnt worth that much homie get a job 

posted 5 hours ago with 164,711 notes
reblogged through electricbluemichael originally by prettylittletmi



forever reblog


posted 5 hours ago with 155,699 notes
reblogged through serenading-smartass originally by artmonia


to quote jesus in matthew 4:19

"follow me"

posted 6 hours ago with 2,050 notes
reblogged through stay-strong-and-keep-fighting originally by awkwardvagina


its kinda scary how your whole life depends on how well you do as a teenager 

posted 6 hours ago with 675,664 notes
reblogged through imdreamingintodisaster originally by armadillo


I like how Mother Gothel finds a bar with sounds of men singing echoing from it and she’s all like

yep rapunzel is definitely here

posted 6 hours ago with 10,821 notes
reblogged through amberhasablog originally by allthatextrastuff


"i cant sleep"



posted 6 hours ago with 41,815 notes
reblogged through stay-strong-and-keep-fighting originally by brow